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Your mind is a garden

Your mind is a garden and your thoughts are the seeds.
You can either grow flower or you can grow weeds.

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Sardar holding his ears

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

I heard you failed in English?

Boy: I heard you failed in English?

Girl: Who TELLED you? It is unpossible.. I sawed the result yesterday… I Passed away.

Real richness

Real richness is when you are so; Expensive; That no one can buy your; Character.

Sonia Gandhi in KBC

Sonia Gandhi in KBC.

Amitabh-Soniaji, ab aakhri saval 5 Crore ke liye.
Who is the CM of Gujarat?
Your Options:
A) LALOO PRASAD
B) VILASRAO Desmukh
C) ARJUN SINGH
D) NARENDRA MODI.

Soniaji- Its Narendra Modi.

Amitabh – Lock kar doon, 5 crore ka savaal hai?

Soniaji – If you really lock him in Gujarat, I will give you 500 crores.

Time is like river

Time is like river.
You can’t touch the same water twice.
Because the flow that has passed will never pass again.
So enjoy every moment of life.

Aaj khaane mein kya pakaya hai?

A man who is a manager in 5 star hotel calls his wife.

Husband : Aaj khaane mein kya pakaya hai?

Wife : Steamed fine long grain white rice hand-picked in the emerald green lap of the Vindhyas, accompanied by a golden lentil soup that was gently simmered over the smouldering kisses of angels.

Husband : Matlab?

Wife : Dal chaval.

Husband : To itna ghumaya kyo?

Wife : Maine to wohi kaha jo tum 5 star wale public ko kehte ho.

HUSBANDS, THE MASTERS OF WIFE

A Prospective husband in a book store: Do U have a book called;
“HUSBANDS, THE MASTERS OF WIFE”..

Sales Girl : Sir Comic Book Department is on the 1st floor.

Difference between Ego & Affection

Life always lies between Ego & Affection.
Affection says, “let’s say sorry”.
But,
Ego says, “let them say sorry”.
Identifying the difference can save relation.

Happiness

Happiness is not the absence of problems;
It’s the ability to deal with them.

I have seen u somewhere

A Lady to Beggar: I have seen you somewhere.
But can’t remember..!!

Beggar: Oh Madam, you forgot,
We are friends on Facebook!!

Tumhare Result ka kya hua

Father: Tumhare Result ka kya
hua?

Son: Headmster ka beta fail ho gaya,

Father: Aur tum?

Son: Doctor ka beta Bhi fail ho gaya,

Father: Aur tumhara result kaisa
Aaya?

Son: Wo Wakeel Ka Beta Bhi fail
Ho gaya.

Father: Are mai tera puch raha hun.

Son: To aap konsey Rajnikant Hai,
Aapka Beta Bhi Fail hua hai.

Ek marwadi aadmi boat se kahi ja raha th

Ek marwadi aadmi boat se kahi ja raha tha.

Achanak se zor se hawa chali aur uski boat palat gayi.

Usey swimming nahi aati thi.

Woh prarthana karne laga “Bhagwan, agar mujhe bacha liya toh me garibo me 21 kilo laddu batwaunga.!”

Fir zor se hawa chali aur ek badi si leher usey zamin pe le gayi.

Woh khada hua, aur haste hue upar dekh ke bola, “Haha, kaise laddu, kaunse laddu?”

Fir zor se hawa chali aur ek badi leher ne usey wapis pani me kheech liya.

Marwadi chilla ke bola, “Matlab main puch raha tha besan ke
ya boondi ke?”

Life is like making Tea

Life is like making Tea.
Boil your Ego;
Evaporate your worries;
Dilute your sorrows;
Filter your mistakes;
And get a taste of happiness!
Good morning and have a nice day.

Each morning when I open my eyes

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself:
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
I can choose which it shall be.
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet.
I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
Good Day!

BEST & MOST LUXURIOUS ‘OLD AGE HOME’ OF INDIA

TEACHER – DO U KNOW WHICH IS BEST & MOST LUXURIOUS ‘OLD AGE HOME’ OF INDIA?

INTELIGENT ANSWER BY A STUDENT –

“PARLIAMENT HOUSE”

Great Msg at Reception of a Corporate Company

Great Message Written  at Reception of a Corporate Company :

We don’t  pay u for having “Brains”, We Only Reword u 4 Using Them intelligently.

Ek din Manmohan ghabraye huye ghar aaye

Ek din Manmohan ghabraye huye ghar aaye aur bole : Mai Office se aa raha tha ki raste me ek gadha….!

Itne me unki ladki bol uthi : Mummy bhai ne meri doll tod di.

Manmohan : Ha to raste me ek gadha….!

Itne me unka ladka bol utha : Mummy bahan ne meri car tod di.

Patni ghusse me boli : Tum sab chup ho jao, pehle muze gadhe ki bat sun lene do. 🙂

Agar woh zindagi mein

Agar woh zindagi mein sirf ek baar mera ho jata,

To zamane bhar ki kitabon se be-wafai lafz mita deti.

Face the change

Changing the face can change nothing;
But facing the change can change everything!

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