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What’s the wifi password?

Me: What’s the wifi password?

John: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I’ll have a coke.

John: Is Pepsi okay?

Me: Sure. How much is that?

John: £3.

Me: There you go. So what’s the wifi password?

John: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.

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Mallya-Nirav crashcourse

Mallya-Nirav crashcourse.

Take X loan from bank A ,2X loan from bank B.

Repay X loan of bank A.

ur credit rating is good, bank A now gives u 4X.

Repay 2X amount loan of bank B.

Bank B will give u 8X.

Repeat till loan reaches 1000X,

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then book a flight out of india…

How did Nirav modi cheat?

CBI: how did Nirav modi cheat?

Bank officer: PNB

CBI: How much did he cheat?

B.O.: PNB

CBI: which bank was looted?

B.O: PNB

CBI: how did he run away with the looted money?

B.O.: PNB

CBI: what is PNB?

B.O: Pata Nahin Bhai.

Put money in bank

Put money in bank – Nirav Modi will take it.

Put money in cricket – Lalit Modi will take it.

Keep Money at home Narendra Modi will take it.

What to do?

Udta Punjab

2016 – *Udta Punjab*

2018 – *Udta Punjab National Bank*

Mahashivratri blessings

Mahashivratri blessings to you and your family. May the almighty Lord Shiva & Parvati bless you all with good things, perfect love & health.

#mahashivratri #mahashivaratri #mahashivrati #mahashivarathri #mahashivratree #mahashivratri2018 #mahashivratri🙏

Happy Makar Sankranti

Take Sweet,

Talk Sweet and

Be Sweet.

Happy Makar Sankranti

Sending you the greetings

Sending you the greetings of the season with all my love and cheers. May the light of Christmas give you peace and happiness.

Christmas is best

Christmas is best when love is all around you.

Make every moment

Make every moment of the Holidays a wonderful time by spending it with loved ones.

Keep your faith

Keep your faith and kindness this Christmas. I wish you good health and prosperity this holiday season.

Christmas is

Christmas is the proof that this world can become a better place if we have lots of people like you who fills it with happiness and hope.

May the spirit of the Christmas

May the spirit of the Christmas fill your home with peace, joy and love. I wish you all merry Christmas and Happy new year

Which fuel you use?

I asked my friend who was having a Rs 60000/- bike, which fuel he was using.

He replied, it’s Petrol.

When I asked why don’t you try Kerosene? His reply was, the engine will be spoiled.

I again asked him, do you drink alcohol??

He quietly said ‘yes’.

When I questioned, won’t it spoil your engine???

He humbly replied, it’s only occasionally…

My question is, can we pour kerosene occasionally in our bike for a change???

No – we cannot.

We give more value to our Rs 60000 bike but not for our life.

Our life is more valuable and more Important.

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*So never change your alcohol… If it’s Whisky, let it be Whisky.*

*If it’s Rum let it be Rum.*

Reminder for 31st…

Don’t drink and drive

Please don’t drink and drive during Christmas and on the eve of 31 December.

If you want to drive safely, we can help you…!

Please call us.

We have experienced people of all ages.

*Our volunteers will come and drink for you…!*

You Drive safely …

Happy New Year

Success in life depends upon

*Success* in life depends

upon two important things…

*Vision* of seeing

the invisible opportunity…

And…

*Mission* of solving

the impossible things…

Police knocked on my door today

The Police knocked on my door today asking if they could talk to me. I called out ‘How many of you are There?

Two came the reply.

Good I said ‘Talk to each other’

May this diwali

🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵🏵

May this diwali Light up new dreams, fresh hopes, undiscovered avenues, different perspectives, everything bright & beautifulfil and fill ur days with pleasant surprises and moments.

🌸🌼Happy Diwali🌼🌸

Your smile is

Your smile is a signature of God on your face,

Do not allow it to be washed away by your tears or erased by your anger.

Life is Best for those who are Enjoying it.

Difficult for those who are Comparing it

And

Worst for those who are Criticizing it.

Your own Attitude defines Your Life..

May this Diwali

May this Diwali, light up for you.

The hopes of Happy times, And dreams for a year full of smiles!

Wish you and your family a delightful Diwali.

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